The hustle and bustle of the holidays swept me away, keeping me feeling too busy to write, but moreover, too drained to be inspired.
I’ve felt like I was in a riptide being pulled out to sea since Halloween. That’s when my family’s activities go from 0 to 60 overnight. There are extra events at school. My son and I have birthdays during the holiday months, and every activity they are involved in has a performance or two in December. Oh, and I had the grand idea to sign my daughter up for a run club at the beginning of December. Who does that? Oh well, it didn’t work out anyhow.
But here we are in January. The fresh start month! Next week, the children will be back in school, and things will return to the normal level of crazy and clutter. That is if I get Christmas put away by then!
I’m truly excited, though, to get back to blogging on a more regular basis. I spent a good portion of yesterday mapping out where I want to go with the blog in 2019.
Because, look in 2018, I just started writing. I jumped on this site, which I started four years prior and quickly abandoned, and started writing what was on my heart. I had nothing but a desire to write and a motto to “Get Shit Done” in 2018.
Yes, 2018 was the year of GSD Becca. I did take this blog from nothing to something. Not huge, but something, and I’m proud of that. I also got some debit and other personal matters under control and continued in my fitness journey (although with some bumps and changes, but that’s for another post).
There were failures. Some shit did not get done. I had a goal of organizing one room in my house per month. I don’t even have 12 rooms in my house, so I should have had months to spare. Alas, I organized one cabinet in my kitchen last January, and last month, I tackled my son’s room out of sheer necessity. He’s a 12-year-old boy. Let’s just say I don’t get awards for deciding that had to be done. A pig would have agreed…just not a 12-year-old boy, but I digress.
2019, however, is not going to be about GSDing. Not that I don’t want to tackle a second kitchen cabinet this year or grow the blog. It’s just that in reflecting on 2018, I realize that I threw a lot of stuff at the wall to see what would stick. A lot of my “failures” were things that didn’t stick. Some because I didn’t put enough work into it. Some because it didn’t feel authentic. Some because I decided those things weren’t a priority right now.
I’ve been working on my “GSD”-like motto for 2019. This morning Julie Stenberg, life coach who did this vlog for us last year, asked on FaceBook what your word for 2019 will be. I thought, ugh, I don’t know! Day 3 and I’m too busy tripping over Christmas storage boxes to think about that. But I did! I thought about it on my way to the gym and while I was at the gym, and I think I have it.
I had an idea before this morning, mind you. The idea was this vague concept of just not throwing everything at the wall and seeing what stuck. I thought about the word authentic. Because I feel like some of my trials and tribulations of last year resulted in trying to get shit done that wasn’t authentic to me. One mutual friend responded to Julie’s question with the word efficient. I thought, that’s good. That conjured up thoughts of putting my efforts into the truly important, which then made me think prioritize. But there was something wrong about those, and they were what was wrong with my version of “GSDing” last year. That was that they smacked of busyness and constant striving.
See, one thing I’m coming away from 2018 with is this: I want to work on self-improvement, while being content. I’m not sure I’ve ever been content. Whether I was working hard or slacking off, I’ve had this nagging undercurrent of ‘not-enoughness.’
I kept thinking, I want to focus on being content. I want to focus on working on the things I did successfully and meaningfully last year. I want to focus on that second kitchen cabinet, i.e. areas of improvement. I want to focus on what matters to me, and that’s when I noticed a word that was popping up a lot. Focus.
2019, I will be focusing. It’s a fresh start. I have learned so much in 2018 on what worked and didn’t work on my blog. I want to focus on doing more of those things that worked, but personally, I want to focus on accepting what isn’t a half-bad life that I am living.
I don’t know if you are into setting intentions or resolutions. Personally, I hate the later term, but love intentions and goals, even if it is just semantics. If you are, I’d love for you to share your intentions in the comments or how you are approaching the fresh start of 2019.
Happy New Year!